A bit of homesickness has been settling in over the past couple of days for a variety of reasons. First, when we decided we were coming out here, I was really excited to have winter...now I'm missing Utah. Although I guess it has been warmer out here lately than it's been out there. The more I think about it, the less I'm ready for the deadly cold that seems to last for an endless amount of time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my dad is right, and that it won't be nearly as bad down here as what I grew up with.
Second, yesterday I was getting ready to make dinner, and I realized I would have done just about anything for the phone to ring and to hear Nancy/Larry on the other end asking us to come over for dessert and games. (You can insert your name into the Nancy/Larry spot too if you'd like, they're just an example of all those we had fun with.) I guess we'll have to be better ourselves and get people over here to play. We really miss all the family and friends we used to live around.
Third is a different kind of homesickness. You know those really good friends you've had throughout your life, that know you in and out, and are like you in ways you didn't value at the time, but now you miss more than anything? Yeah, I miss you guys! I'm out here trying to make new friends, and am trying to go out of my comfort zone to do so, but it seems like I always come home feeling like I just don't fit. I mean, in high school I hung out with a bunch of girls that fit in with boys better than other girls. We wore jeans and a t-shirt every day. My idea of wearing make up was putting it on before church on Sunday. We were nerdy. I mean, Lindsey brought her text books to my birthday party in 11th grade!! In fact, I'm pretty sure we all studied for our chem test at that party.
Then I moved to Utah, and after many grueling years I learned to put on some form of makeup nearly every day (even if it was just mascara) and my wardrobe expanded to a style that included something cuter than jeans and a t-shirt once in a while. But who cared? I studied around boys all day. And my girlfriends were other nerdy girls just like myself who also studied around boys all day. It kinda came with the job description of being a girl in an engineering and science department.
When I got married I gained a wonderful family of girls that I can honestly say I relate to. We are all different, but all the same in many ways. All of my wonderful SILs are easy going. I know I've seen them all without makeup numerous times. They all have characteristics I can mesh easily with, and I knew I could be my science loving, rock collecting, t-shirt wearing self.
Now I'm out here. Starting over again. I no longer have the luxury of being at school, surrounded by people who share my same interests. The "nerds" are more spread out. Instead I find myself trying to become friends with girls who wax their eyebrows and use hair products I've never even heard of.
It's hard.
6 comments:
Oh wow, I'm sorry you feel a little homesick. I would probably have a hard time with that too. It'll be so much better once you feel like you have great friends there too and then you won't want to leave there! On a side note, you probably just weren't aware, but a lot of girls wax their eyebrows here too. So it's okay; it's not just there. : )
Hang in there, Sarise. I know it must be hard. I could relate to so many things you said! Just be yourself and people will love you. Sometimes it takes time - and I know that's not easy - but before you know it things will be easier. We LOVE you guys!!
Nicole - Thanks, but I know lots of people in UT wax as well, I just didn't hang around many of them. I guess there was just a bigger variety of people in a smaller amount of space in Provo. We're more spread out out here.
I totally feel your pain! I lived in our ward for almost a year and i didn't feel like I had any friends here. Start praying for a calling! That does the trick really fast and then you will start wishing the phone would stop ringing! It will get better. I love you babe!
When we lived in Boston, it took me almost the whole year we were there to get adjusted. Just in time to move back to MN. Some weekends we just wanted to have a reason to fix something just so we could justify running to Home Depot. Or when all Eric's law school friends were busy studying, I can't remember how many times we'd say "I wish our parents would call us to come BBQ" because we wanted someone to be with. It is hard, but it will get better. You have JB who'll have play (crawl? :) ) dates soon, and your church, and the neighbors that sounded great. Little by little it'll improve. In the meantime, that's what phones and facebook are for!
It is so funny, the other day I was feeling kind of lonely and thought I want to invite some one over for games and cookies tonight I wonder what Boyd and Sarise are doing. Then I remembered that you were to far away to invite over for the evening and I really missed you.
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